Brown Angel

Pint. Sized. Review! Today we’ve got Brown Angel by Clown Shoes!! It’s a double brown ale featuring a picture of me on the bottle. Don’t judge.

Brown Angel

Just like Nessie, I’m a true believer. Also, look at that bottle. I’ve been doing squats for the photo shoot for that label. Don’t let anybody tell you hard work doesn’t pay off.  


This beer is dark, dark brown. Not as dark as the Backwood’s Bastard, but like a rich oak tree. Not old money rich, this angel worked hard for that cold hard cash. Thick foamy head that sticks around like what you thought was going to stay in Vegas.

I shoved my nose in it like a reverse snorkle. Or a straw. A straw is a reverse snorkle. It’s thick with molasses and booze. Has a nutty after-smell. Yes, that’s a thing. Don’t believe me? Try shoving your nose in beer. I do this for you!

I decided purely based on the smell that instead of taking a sip I’d go for a gulp. This has quite the bite for being a brown ale! Top shelf shit here. This is a cascade of flavors. Roasty, malty, comforting. Like wrapping up in a wool blanket after shoveling Grandma’s driveway and she just wrote you a check for 35 cents.


That’s like, $2.45 in dog dollars. 

It’s hoppier than most brown ales. Gives it a bitterness to cut through the sweetness. Like having a significant other tell you how fat you are getting, but that he/she/they kinda likes it. KATE, I’M UNDER A LOT OF STRESS WHEN I’M STRESSED I EAT but thanks honey I’m glad abs don’t make it/break it. Abs are basically uncomfortable airline seats when you just want a big beanbag chair to curl up in.

The molasses came back, which is strange. If I write “molasses” one more time, I’m going dream about that scene in the live action 101 Dalmations where Cruella de Vil got slimed with the stuff.




Glenn Close, you national treasure.

I just had Kate smell this beer. She said it, “Smells like beer.”

I just had Kate taste this beer. She said, “HIIISSSSS.” Means it’s good.

I think my favorite part of this beer is how it lives in my nasal passages like a grifter who sells coupons. Rent be damned! Taxation is theft! Ron Paul 2012!

Browns are often labeled as the easy-drinking comfort food of the beer world. Safe choice.

There’s nothing safe about this. I mean, you won’t get botulism, but this is an adventurous beer. I cannot recommend this enough.

If you’re new to beer, drink lots and often. Then drink this. Lots. And often.

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