Backwoods Bastard

Today’s Pint Sized Review comes to you from Founders Brewing! It’s the Backwoods Bastard! Or as I’ve always known him: Blind Bob Quinn.

Backwoods Bastard

As you can see, it’s dark. Darker than a joke about orphans. I love orphan jokes. Their parents don’t care if they hear them!

Beautiful head that sticks around. Foamy and lovely to look at. Like Mount Rushmore if it was a Latte. 

On the nose, it’s wet. But that’s because I have a large nose. It has the smell of sweet, sweet maple syrup or almost a caramel scent. Like a Canadian breakfast. Just carbs and maple and maybe even some maple.

Ok, I smelled it so hard I snorted it by accident. This introduces the new maybe-a-sense-maybe-an-accident part of the review! On the snort it kinda burned. I’ll get better at this part. 

ylma5r4Am I doing this wrong?


Going in for a sip it has an immediate taste of molasses and syrup and bourbon. “That’s a lot of flavors,” you say, and to which I say, “Shut up, it’s an 11% beer, it better taste like everything under and mildly above the Arctic Circle.”

Tastes of scotch without the peat moss flavor with a smokey twist. Smokey like eyeshadow applied with a burning stick. Maybe not so much smokey as it it roasted in flavor. Not barbecue. Is that a flavor? Not Barbecue Sauce.

Unlike other dark beers, there isn’t any syrupy quality other than the maple/caramel taste. It doesn’t cling to the inside of your mouth, but isn’t watery or watered down. God, I love this beer. It reminds me that there’s some good in the world.

Just like Blind Bob Quinn.

I highly recommend pairing this with steak. Just steak. Might as well blow all your taste buds at once. This shit is lit, fam.

Oh man I just picked up some spice in this beer. IT KEEPS SURPRISING YOU AS IT WARMS UP. DRINK. THIS. SHIT. NOW. Before it’s gone! Wait… it’s available all year now? What? Really?

DRINK THIS SHIT NOW BEFORE I DRINK IT ALL!!!

Also I’m pretty sure that’s Tom Bombadil on the bottle.

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