Welcome back to another Pint Sized Review! I apologize posts haven’t been as frequent as the past, but not gonna lie. I’ve been sick as a dog, and I tried a really expensive beer and couldn’t even taste it. I had to give myself another a few days off to give it an accurate go. 

Oh nooooo, I had to drink more. Woe is me. 

Anybut, this next beer is the Rye Hipster Brunch Stout by Odd Side Ales! It’s hard to find, and like $10 a bottle if you do find it. But believe me, if you find it buy it and send me some more. 

It’s such a good beer. You’ve probably never heard of it.

So, lock your fixed-gear bike, leave your typewriter at your favorite fair-trade coffee roaster, and let’s dive into this complex work of brewing artistry. 

Let me bestow my wonderful wisdom upon you, whether you asked for it or not.

“Look outside at the raincoats coming, say oh.” -A-Punk, Vampire Weekend

This beer pours like a barely carbonated Mr. Pib. It has a little thin, wispy head that disappears like a soy boy when challenged by a power lifter over some neanderthalic territorial pissing. 

I’m not entirely sure what he’s training for… but it’s working.

There’s enough room in the gym for two, there, Dra’nakyuek, Destroyer of Worlds. Don’t be mean to the little guy, he’s low on protein.

“And I told you to be balanced/And I told you to be kind.” -Skinny Love, Bon Ever

If you read the intro, you’ll know that I’m recovering from being sick AF. My first attempt to review this ended disastrously. I couldn’t smell at all, and the taste ended up somewhere between “water” and “dirty water with booze,” which is unfair to a beer of this caliber. 

So, I took a few days off, recovered, and bought another bottle of this. Poor me. Support me on Patreon. Fuel my drinking habit.

You wouldn’t want to disappoint Betty White now, would you?

So! On the next attempt, this glass smells like bacon on rye… but more accurately, this smells like a maple glazed slice of bacon on avocado toast. There’s definitely some fudgeyness, coffee, and other roasted notes. Makes you feel safe, right?

I no longer feel safe.

I’m noticing also as it warms it it smells more like a spirit than not. That’s the 12.7% shining through!

“They seem wild but they are so tame/They’re moving towards you with their colors all the same.” -Rococo, Arcade Fire

This taste is so pleasant. The rye whiskey is definitely upfront on the first sip but it’s immediately accompanied by the maple goodness, cold-brewed coffee, and of course… bacon. 

I understand if you need a few minutes to yourself after thinking about bacon.

The bacon flavor I find isn’t like chomping on a slab of Ron Swanson’s staple diet, but it’s more like tasting the inside of your own mouth AFTER eating breakfast at a greasy spoon breakfast nook. That… doesn’t sound pleasant but trust me. I’m a doctor (EDITOR’S NOTE: NOT A DOCTOR).

“Waiting in a car/Waiting for a ride in the dark/Drinking in the lights/Following the neon signs.” -Midnight City, M83

Feeling out this beer… honestly? This is a bit oily. Like, doesn’t-own-a-TV, skinny-jean-stretching, summer-scarf-wearing, thrift-shop-frequenting mustache oily. I’m not saying that’s bad. It’s like boozy oil-based moonshine. Like grease…

… close…

Bacon grease! It reminds me of bacon grease! Bacon cut from a pig that died drowning in a rye whiskey barrel. 

Speaking of whiskey, sipping this is like sipping a cocktail. As it warms up, the booze notes really rise to the top. If you’re a fan of whiskey, you’re gonna love this. 

People who like whiskey generally are a fan of even more whiskey.

“We set controls for the heart of the sun/One of the ways we show our age.” -All My Friends, LCD Soundsystem

This beer is complicated, like a suburban college graduate that figured society is just so meh and doesn’t wear shoes while riding a bike. 

“I’ve got a PhD. in English! The opportunities are endless!”

There’s so much going on in this glass, and the forefront flavor profiles change drastically with the temperature. Shifting from maple and chocolate to coffee to whiskey heat. I can make more hipster jokes, but I run a f***ing craft beer blog and don’t have much room to talk, so I’ll take the hint. 

… but seriously, 2014 was a great year to play “Amish or Hipster?” everywhere you went.

This beer was definitely an experiment gone right with a jab at the various movements of young people in recent years, full of self-depreciating humor from the strangest of the strange craft breweries. I can only imagine the conversation involved making this beer. 

Brewer #1: Man, people really think craft beer is all mustaches and coffee and bacon. We’re not a bunch of hipsters, are we?

Brewer #2: *Eyes light up* Let’s own it.

Like I said earlier, there’s a lot happening here. This isn’t something you’re going to crave after mowing the lawn, or while laying suns-out-guns-out-buns-out on the beach, or probably while grilling in the summer heat. But you ARE going to want to put on a woolly cardigan, light a fire, and read a deep book on philosophy while sipping this from one of my pretentious glasses that litters my Instagram. 

Overall, this is a fantastic beer. Experimental, wild, complex, and far and beyond delicious. Dark, roasted, the perfect combination of sweet, savory, bitter, and just utter perfection of something nobody should’ve thought would go well together as a beer. 

I’d recommend pairing this with breakfast foods of all kinds, dusty, musty books, red meat, and judging people from behind lensless glasses that aged out 20 years ago. 

I went through a bit of a hipster era. Then I needed to pay back my student loans… and this is how I’m doing it. Got a brew you want to share with me? I take submissions and donations to the cause! Email me at dennis@thepintsizedreview.com or shoot me a message on any of my social media accounts. You can follow me on Twitter @drinkpintsized, Instagram @thepintsizedreview, or the way your parents get their news: on Facebook. Just search “The Pint Sized Review” and you’ll find me. Donate on our Patreon, and if you can’t please like, share our posts, and join the mailing list so you always know when we are putting out some stupid stuff for a laugh and maybe, just maybe, some education.

Peace!

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