Well. Here it is. A seasonal favorite for those of us lucky to live in West Michigan. I present to you the ever elusive and welcome specter of a beer, Founder’s Canadian Breakfast Stout (CBS for short).

Founders CBS

Our friend, David, tried to join our tasting. But he fundamentally doesn’t understand that just because you can see and hear something doesn’t mean you can taste it. Oh well, he pitched in $12 (CAN) to get the bottle. 

Funny thing about this beer, it only comes out every so often, so when it hits the shelves it flies off like a methed-up moth aiming directly at a bug zapper. CBS means Canadian Breakfast Stout, and to that I say get some, you hosers. 

giphy25

Never hide your sparkle.

The problem is that this beer is $25 a bottle. Kinda expensive. But did I get two?

tenor

The answer is yes.

Upon the pour, this imperial stout looks like old diesel. Like the kind that gums up an engine in the middle of winter. I wonder if I could power my Volt with it? I bet Elon Musk uses this to get to Mars when he misses home.

giphy26

CBS: Cheaper than rocket fuel.

It sticks to the sides of the glass like the demons clawing their way out of my soul.

Smelling this beer makes me wanna grow a big epic mustache and resign myself to a life as a barista (baristo?) serving coffee that takes 45 minutes to brew after what seems like a lifetime of tamping down grounds.

Smelling this beer again has me thinking of growing an epic beard and resigning myself to a life of flannel, chainsaws, and crafty axmanship chopping wood in the great forest sea of Canada. The maple in this is so forward, but it passes before the sweetness creates an insulin dependence. One could say it becomes… dwarfed... by the other flavors.

giphy27

Video of my brother Mark. He’s a redhead. 

This is not a beer to chug. So I sipped it. Then I chugged it. It has such a rich chocolatey taste to it. The mix between maple, coffee, and chocolate is such an amazing blend. I think there’s vanilla in there. I’m going to keep this short, because this beer is 11 point something percent, and I’ve got 27 oz in this bottle I have to make disappear.

giphy28

If you know what this is, it’s because you are better than everybody else. 

Get this beer if you like Canada, and nobody doesn’t like Canada except the Saudi royal family, and they don’t drink beer. So they don’t need to buy this. But you do.

And me. I’m getting more as SOON as the room isn’t spinning so much.

 

The Pint Sized Review is a dream team of Dennis Farney and Geoff Kartes. They drink beer, take pictures, and then their wives drive them home because Kate and Julie are angels. 

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