Thanksgiving has come and gone. I’ve eaten about 12,000 calories, but that was two days ago, and most of those calories were whiskey. Now… I’m hungry. Therefore, this Pint Sized Review is brought to you by PB & J’Ale’y by Elk Brewing!

PBJ

Shortly after this picture was taken, the hipster sparrow stole the shiny can. I hope your impeccable mustache gets stuck in the tab!

I went to this brewery with my brother-in-law and we were, first, blown away by our beertender’s man bun and scarf, and secondly, blown away by the title of this beer. I didn’t even try it there, I bought the cans purely because it looked like a Nickelodeon commercial printed on aluminum.

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Ah, yes. Classic Nickelodeon. A time of childhood treasures made by college slackers high on shrooms run by executive high on cocaine. As is tradition. 

This can looks like it was designed by the same graphic designer who made Gushers.

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Was I the only one disappointed when my head didn’t explode into a giant anthropomorphized fruit immediately upon consumption?

Pouring one out, it looks like the blood of Thanos: purple. Like diluted jelly in a glass with a huge amount of foamy head (mea culpa). It’s not the most striking beer to look at, but…

This smells exactly like my second grade lunch. Sammiches just like my mom used to make.

Geoff: I think this smells like roast beef.

Geoff is very wrong, and broken inside. Only I can fix him with my love.

Going in for a taste it surprisingly tastes exactly how it smells. Like a damn sandwich (Geoff in the background: Not at all like roast beef!). Super peanuty upfront and finishes with jelly. Despite all that head there’s not a lot of carbonation to speak of.

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Carbonation be damned, that was what my tongue felt like while drinking this. 

Back to this flavor though, it honestly tastes like nothing I’ve ever drank before, but exactly like every lunch I had from ages 6-18. It’s pretty amazing, a beer with a gimmick that works. Parts of this remind me of a dark beer and others are just like the light, summery, fruity elements like Rubaeus. 

The jelly notes in this are insane!

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You may not think I am ready, but while you have been partying with your friends, I studied the Bey. While you went cavorting with women of the night, I studied the Bey. You shirked your responsibilities, I studied the Bey. I am indeed ready for this Jelly.

This is a serious beer that doesn’t take itself seriously. At 5% you don’t feel guilty indulging a little bit on the sweet side.

This pairs well with elementary schools and the Scholastic book club. Probably a few Animorphs books and that day in gym class where y’all just play with a parachute. Seriously, though, don’t let your kids close to this. The can makes it look like a lunchable.

Go get some!

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