Today’s Pint Sized Review is brought to you by George Killians’s Irish Red! On the bottle it says, “Brewed in the irish Tradition,” but below it is stated, “Product of the USA.”

Me too, George. Me too.  

You can’t have Irish beer with Irish whiskey. So, Sláinte!

Looking at the pour, we’ve got a headless beer that is a classic red color. THE NAME DOESN’T LIE! The no-head red is dead on.

Smelling this beer, though, you can absolutely pick up on the fact that it’s a mass-produced beer. That malty, moldy corn smell comes off hard like whiffing the top of a stalk.

Not necessarily a bad thing.

The first mouthful of this beer gives a… well, some… sensations. There’s almost no carbonation to this. It’s as flat as Oklahoma pre-op. There’s a nickely/coppery taste with this that I usually find super pleasant with amber ales and Irish Reds.

Speaking of Irish Reds… I’m gonna have Kate try this beer.

Kate: Why do you always have me smell and taste beer? Pumpkin Spice or GTFO.

Let’s just say she said it smells like beer.

Killian’s coats your mouth with a slick layer of what I assume can be referred to as Seamus Spit. On the exhale I taste… strife.

Is that racist? It’s fine. It’s probably fine. It’s… it’s probably racist. 

Ok, time for a mid-pint shot.

I’m Frenching an Irish shot.

Ever have Jameson Irish Whiskey? The word “Whiskey” comes from the Gaelic word Uisce, which means “Water.” That, further, comes from the understanding that in Latin distilled spirits were called, Aqua Vitae, which means “Water of Life.” Uisce Beatha is old Irish for “Water of Life,” and eventually Uisce, and then Whiskey.

Have I done it? Have I made you proud, Mother?

There are many other cultures that have called spirits variations of “Water of Life,” and I think, sometimes, the old ways are the best ways.

Back to the beer, as it warms up this starts to taste more and more like Milwaukee’s Best, but with a Metal Mario cap. It’s heavier, slower, and technically an upgrade.

I know I said a lot of silly things, but this beer is great. You can count on it to taste the same bottle to bottle, and it’s been there in the toughest of times for me.

I recommend pairing this with friends playing air hockey, pinball, and getting into a scuffle by the bathroom until you realize it’s actually a good friend you’re about to tussle with and grabbing a few more of these bad boys.