Hey everyone! Welcome to The Pint Sized Review. Today I’m going with a new twist on an old classic, Pabst Blue Ribbon Easy. It’s a low calorie beer by PBR, and honestly it feels like sacrilege.
PBR is meant to be the guiding light in the darkness! An unchanging, immovable object that anchors us in the storm! The one thing we can count on when all else fails and all we feel is the crushing inanity of an unfeeling universe upon our weak, mortal, temporary and ultimately meaningless existence on this plane, gazing into a void that would stare back if we offered anything more than this minuscule blip of occupancy in the cosmic timeline that neither counts forward nor records anything to look back upon. Know this inevitability and despair.
Anyway, cracking open this can feels like putting on an old pair of shoes. Comfortable and a little stinky.
Pouring this into a glass (which is NOT how PBR is meant to be imbibed), it’s honestly a beautiful golden color that’s absolutely clean and clear with lovely carbonation ascending up the sides of the glass. Even, foamy head right at the top where it should be.
… this does not bode well for my previously-written scathing review.
Taking a sniff of the peeber, this smells like a dive bar’s counter top that sticks with you when you pass out face down on it (we’ve all been there, right?) with a hint of corn and farm animal.
Honestly, this is already fresher than I was expecting.
Going in for a sip, I gotta say… it tastes just like PBR, but with less of that signature “can” flavor to it. Which I guess means it tastes nothing like PBR. Which means all hope is lost, and the compendium of all we know and don’t know is simultaneously correct and incorrect, all is for nought and giving up is just as effective as triumph.
This tastes like the reward to a day of hard work. Or deer camp if people had abs instead of mouth sores from chewing tobacco. And the mouthfeel feels thin and approachable. This beer isn’t made for sipping, it’s made to be drank.
This beer feels like the kind of beer you can have on your breath while driving a beat up Ford F150 and not get pulled over because you and the sheriff do pilates together on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I wasn’t expecting much for PBR EZ, but honestly, this surprised me. This is a great beer for the summer, winter, whenever. In all seriousness, I believe I’ve said it before, but it’s impossible to make mind-blowing beers on the scale that breweries such as Pabst does. This is a perfectly good, serviceable lager that would quench your thirst, but I’d have a hard time getting any sort of buzz as it’s 3.8% ABV. To be completely straight with everyone, I think it’s good to have session beers such as this because sometimes you just want a beer, not a citation for Disorderly Conduct.
I’d pair this with blaze orange anything, deer blinds, and that group fitness class you promised yourself you’d join but heck, it’s fourth quarter 2019 may as well try again in January.