Welcome back to another Pint Sized Review! Tonight’s main event is brought to you by Grain Belt Premium Beer by August Schell Brewing Company, a brewery with a history that spans all the way back to pre-Prohibition (1893) in fact. Back then it was the Minnesota Brewing Company, and we all know that Midwesterners didn’t give a blatantly aimless hump about what the government said you can and can’t do with alcohol. Let’s begin!

I wish more things came in 16 ounce cans, like coffee. Or whiskey. Or spam.

I snapped open the can to a very unspamlike scent and a very satisfying *pssstkersnapity* onamonapia.

Pouring into the glass you can see that it looked like everything that comes out of a tap in Minnesota. Yellow, with a big soapy head that goes all the way up the glass dissipating quite rapidly. It honestly almost looks like a cider to me. But ciders are for instagram influencers and Irishmen and people with gluten-intolerances and really just for everyone of legal drinking age.

WARBLEGARBLE

I only have one word for what I can smell: Malt-forward-AF.

After tasting it, it tastes like beer. That’s my description. It’s a good crispy boi that honestly is so non-offensive even Kate would like it.

*insert cartoony noises of my wife yelling at me that she doesn’t like beer in the background*

With the mouthfeel, it’s as if the liquid wants to stick around, but the carbonation dries it up instantly. It’s like a huge biker-viking at the bar covered in tattoos and wears a leather vest, but buys you a few shots and talks about how switching to White Claws helped him keep his weight under control. Confusing, intimidating, and awesome.

There’s a GIF for that.

It’s malty without being cream-of-corny; flavorful and quenching. I… I just really like this. I get why it’s called “The Big Friendly.”

Upon the exhale, it smell/tastes like how I imagine Hopper from Stranger Thing’s breath smells like, and it gives me a comfort somehow. Like I’m safe in my wood-paneled trailer playing board games and reading comics and slowly experimenting with my psionic powers. I’m going to keep the door open three inches in his honor.

Highly recommend this beer! If you can get it, get it! Pairs well with muck boots and a Real Tree camo hat and best served out of a tall boy can or from a pitcher that cost no more than four dollars.