Easing back into the blogging life like a hairy man slowly sliding into the hotel jacuzzi.
Hey there. Been a while.
OMG IT’S DENNIS MY FAVORITE DRUNK GUY ON THE INTERNET THAT ISN’T GREG FROM HOW TO DRINK WHAT’S UP?
Oh, you know, just getting my life together. Getting a job, buying a house, raising a dog, trying to rationalize existence in an unfeeling world while being chock full of feelings myself.
Welcome back to The Pint Sized Review! It’s been a long journey of hard work and navigating this new climate we find ourselves in. Anybody that’s written a blog, started a business, or tried to make it on their own would say the same thing that I’m about to say: sometimes you just have to put your nose to the grindstone and get that bread.
Life is good, and so is beer. So let’s talk about the new format for our new chapter in life!
Pint Sized Reviews are going back to their original format: Pint Sized! This ain’t a cooking blog. I’m not going to go into the whole backstory of how a sunset upon the river was the inspiration for me to delve into the world of gluten free dog snacks or some pretentious tomfoolery before telling you the chicken needs to go into a convection oven preheated to 900 degrees or something.
Wait. You’re doing the same thing right now.
Shut up. Except this one. This one is different.
From here on out, I’m gonna get into the nitty gritty right away for all of you who have to budget their time when it comes to beer.
I’ll refer to to you the binge drinkers. If you’re new to the blog and haven’t read any of my previous articles- what are you doing? Go read them, they’re funny! Also, if you are looking for ratings, I don’t do that. Numbers are for nerds. All I can do is say what it tastes like to me, what I like or don’t like about it, and what I think it should pair with.
For those of you who are sipping your pints right along with me, after my reviews, I’ll dive into some other topic of the week. If you’ve ever written a blog before, you know that writing is therapeutic. It helps to put your thoughts down with the written word. Some of it may be nonsensical. Some of it will be musings on the state of the craft beer industry. Some of it may be pondering on the ephemeral.
But all of it will be the thoughts and opinions of the few cubic centimeters between my ears.
So without further ado, I’m so happy to be back at it. To quote my grandfather, “Life is Short. Act accordingly.”
He lived to be damn near 100.
Today we are drinking High Striker by Wax Wings Brewing Company in Kalamazoo, Michigan! A brewery I’ve never been to, but was graciously gifted this can from a good friend of mine who swears by them.
Right on the can, it tells me that this is a sour, fruited beer with raspberry, sweet tea, lemon, and lemonade. So basically all the flavors of my favorite Jelly Bellies.
Pouring this out, immediately I’m taken by the bright-yet-muddy red blast of color flowing from the can. Seriously though that the can was bleeding and that I was cursed, and was immediately bombarded with what I can only describe as the smell of the bottom of the fruit cart at Aldi.
Looking at this, it reminds me of Valentine’s Day after 15 years of marriage and three kids, there’s no head.
Going in for a sip is the best decision I made today since deciding to never live in Ohio. Often times with sour, fruity beers, the flavors are overshadowed by intense tartness and citric acid. This, though, is a masterclass in balance. Raspberry sweetness gives way to lemony acid and falls back to a refreshing coolness that I last had poured from a pitcher while sitting on the porch of a farmhouse in Georgia. Thick without feeling like I’m drinking a smoothie.
This beer is less of a beer and more of a tiki drink. You could pour this over crushed ice, tell me it’s a raspberry jungle bird and I’d believe you because I’m dumb and trusting and that’s why I owe unsavory people money.
I said this would be a fast review, but I have to say this is one of the best… no, the best sour fruited beer I’ve ever had and at 9 f***ing percent I’m obligated to say you should drink this responsibly. But what I really want to say is that you should drink four of these and try your luck at some carnival games that involve sledgehammers and sharp object. What do you have to lose?
Pair this beer with elephant ears and airsoft guns purchased from an unscrupulous carney with a skullet.
The Meandering Prose
Hah! Got you. I got nothing to talk about today. But if I did, it’d be right here.
Got a brew you want to share with me? You can also email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and give me suggestions on beers to try, topics to meander on about, or just tell me how wrong I am. Share our posts, and join the mailing list so you always know when we are putting out some stupid stuff for a laugh and maybe, just maybe, some education.